Jul 25 , 2018
You’re probably clicking this article because you’ve read every article, blog and self help book there is out there on keeping your partner interested in you, and yet you still end up in an empty bed. I totally get it, I’ve been there too, and I have tried product after product and countless solutions with absolutely zero relationship longevity. Thankfully, I can now tell you the real trick has finally landed in my lap!
This is the Love Potion Number 9, if you will, that will keep them coming back for more. I know, you’ve heard it before, and everyone has the best method, but I’m telling you this one is the best. Don’t believe me? Once you’ve finished this article, try it out yourself for ten days and see how you feel, see how you look, see how they look at you.
Then write me a big freakin’ thank you note.
This product has so many benefits, you will pay more attention to your own hygiene, more people will take notice when you walk in the room. You will gain more respect with your friends, your co-workers, and most importantly your significant other! What can this magical product, be you ask? I’m getting there, calm down… damn.
We are all so stressed out and pressed for time, we barely get any time for self care. Simply put, that’s why your significant other thinks you’re ugly and your friends think you’re dumb. Sorry, but it’s true. Your friends are going behind your back maxing out their credit cards at the spa treating themselves, then telling you they are “on the grind." Let’s face it, they’re phonies. They probably have massive debt from student loans, too. So, go ahead, take my advice, do this cheap and easy thing.
You can spare two more minutes, right? You can need to rinse down your entire bathroom every evening before bed… right? I feel like these things are reasonable.
The fact is, your friends and your significant other are judging you based on how much you look like you have your act together. So, you better get it together. Today with Instagram and all of the other countless social media outlets, we are bombarded with fake standards consistently. You have to keep up! But also, no one likes a faker in real life, which is why you should buy some Magic Mud! I have only been using the product for 10 days, and my teeth look noticeably whiter, it detoxes and cleans and whitens by lifting stains from hard to reach areas and protecting your teeth from future stains. The best part is you have a black, chalky, disgusting party in your mouth every night! Your boy toy/gal pal will be begging to watch you brush your teeth carefully over the sink, and watch as you let the black saliva fall out and down your toothbrush.
There’s no better foreplay than covering your bathroom in dark and dusty mouth water.
Not to mention, ensuring every toothbrush you ever use again will have a gray tint to the bristles permanently and your towels will surely carry the black stain proudly until the next wash! Just watch your significant other fall head over heels with you when you smile afterwards and they see the small bits of charcoal still stuck to your gums and tongue. Make out session, incoming!
If you’re ready to take the plunge into a slightly longer beauty regimen that will “bring all the boys to the yard” then go buy My Magic Mud and wash all of your problems down your previously white sink!
Don’t believe that it works? Just look at the proof! I can feel years of relentless childhood bullying memories fading away with every smile I flash of my new pearly whites. Try My Magic Mud today! The only thing you’ll regret is sharing this article on your Facebook page and noticing that friend you only hang out with for connections took your advice and started using it too.
Shelby Sloan is a comedic improvisor and television actress best known for her work with ComedySportz Worldwide and her role in "Murder Made Me Famous". After many years learning how to write for the screen, she began comedic sketch writing in 2016 for her YouTube channel; which focuses on comedic satire. She has recently relocated from Dallas, Texas to New York City and is excited to bring her comedic voice to VigorPath!